This post is part of the contest A picture can say a thousand words.. on WriteUpCafe.com
Short Story based on this picture.
The picture was clear to me. Stark, black and white but
clear. There was me in it: a happier, much younger version of me. I wore a
turban on my head along with my work clothes and carried Chanda: my daughter,
on my shoulders like I use to, a long time back.
She was four
years old, as old as I last saw her. She sat comfortably with both her legs
hanging around my neck and my head held in her baby arms. There was something in the
way she rested her head on mine that made her seem weary yet confident. Like
she knew, her Abbu would get her home somehow, anyhow.
She wore her best
dress, the pant suit that I bought for her for Eid. The dress was tad expensive by our standards. However, festivals had always
made me splurge.
Bit by bit, the
picture grew a life and turned into a scene/ a sequence. On difficult nights, this
was a dream that I lived. A dream, that never lasted for long, just about enough
to bring me the taste of my past, of what I lost.
Crumpled was my
life. Folded and creased endlessly. I was broke and homeless, without a friend
or a foe. No one cared, none bothered. Oh,
I received a lot of those pitiful glances, those careless looks. Each set of
eyes worried to rest on me. I was frightened of the freight in their eyes.
It was a dark silent night, one of the worst
kinds, with no stars out. You had nothing to look up to, nothing to shine on
you. And you wake up from a sweet dream to bitter cold. Morning would bring rain..!
Tip!
Tip!
Tip!
Incessant rain drops
would pour down, soaking you, crowding you, drowning you. I shuddered and tried to move to a comfortable sitting
position, unsuccessfully. I was not alone. Under a lamp post, on a deserted by
lane, I had street dogs for company. And a few other castaways like me. Some of
them had not moved for days. And then there were others, who blabbered late
into the night.
I hated the street
and I hated everyone around it, including myself. I wanted to run away. But, where would I go? I was a man, old before my time. I was dead alive.
My past murdered my present and my future died in quick reaction.
Everywhere that I
went, memories reached me. Memories shuffled me like a pack of cards. It
connected me to a past, I would much rather live and not dream about. A time, when I had a tiny
but cozy home, a small but fertile farm land and most importantly, a wife and a
four year old daughter: Chanda.
My recurring dream
was my sole solace, where I was a hero. In my delusions, I carried Chanda to safety,
where she would be alive. I protected Chanda like a father should
have, like I never could.
The incessant rain and that furious flood
took everything away from me. It left me guilty. Guilty of guilt that I was
safe, I was alive when my wife and daughter were not. I was not there with them
in death. I was away on my weekend trip to the city. Three hundred miles away-I
was tucked in a warm blanket-when flood hit my village-wiping clear my life. It
left me bereft of home, family and essence.
Tip!
Tip!
Tip!
It started to rain again, fading the picture of my past from
my mind. 'Chanda, my dear daughter, wait
for me, wait for your Abbu. Abbu’s coming for you…'. I was blabbering ~
If you liked my post, you can vote for it here~ |
Well-written Ghazala!
ReplyDeleteSuresh,
DeleteThank you for your first comment.
I am happy to liked it :)
I want to give you something Ghazala... :)
ReplyDeleteyou can see it here
http://canvascribbles.blogspot.in/2012/07/my-first-blog-award-leibster-award.html
Dear Dear Neha,
DeleteThank you so much...! I am delighted to receive this from a sweet person as you :)
Beautiful narration of a poignant tale! Well done!
ReplyDeleteMagiceye,
DeleteThank you, I am touched :)
well written..a very poignant tale..
ReplyDeleteall d bst for the contest :)
Saikat,
DeleteThank you, so happy to have your support :)
Very well written Ghazala. Very poignant!
ReplyDeleteDear Jaish,
DeleteAlways happy to see you here. Thanks :))
Nice write, Ghazala! :)
ReplyDeleteDear Vaishali,
DeleteYou are the last time winner. Saw your picture On Writeupcafe.
You are famous girl..! Thanks :)
What a story! Vey well written, Ghazala. :)
ReplyDeleteNisha - Le Monde-A Poetic Travail
Dear Nisha,
DeleteThank you so very much. Now that we met, let us keep in touch :)
PS: I am inspired by you. Hugs~
well crafted styled and sculpted as art form..
ReplyDeleteFiroz ji,
DeleteI am deeply touched by your feedback.
You are generous and kind. Thanks~
great ! I loved your narration ... good luck for the contest
ReplyDeleteTTT,
DeleteHey you..! I look forward to seeing you here :)
Thanks and take care~
very nice...
ReplyDeletemay you win!!!
anu
Dear Anu,
DeleteYou bring so much color with you. Love it:))
Thanks and Amen ~
Fantastic
ReplyDeleteVikram Sir,
DeleteThank you, your face is as familiar as a friend's.
Keep coming here :)
Lovely post. Touching and very poignant. Well done :)
ReplyDeleteHari,
DeleteThanks man, your words mean a lot:)
..absolutely wonderful! Superb narration:) Poignant and well crafted, Ghazala:) All the best!
ReplyDeleteAmit A,
DeleteThank you so very much. I am humbled :)
Very touchy Ghazala..liked it very much..
ReplyDeleteDear Ranita,
DeleteI am glad that you liked it. Thanks :)
On this picture I have read so many different storiues , proves to say a picture can tell so many stories
ReplyDeleteBikram's
Hi Bikram,
DeleteYes, a picture can say thousand stories:)
PS: Hope you liked mine ~
Interesting, breathless language compliments the poignant story. Excellent work, Ghazala. Wish you the best in whatever contest it is.
ReplyDeleteUmaS,
DeleteThanks, pleased to get your feedback.
Thank you so very much :)
I have gone through a;; your blogs.
ReplyDeleteone on fashion show and the other
poems and the restaurant..
photography is superb.
As to your style of writing it is very
unique and direct.
nice to connect.
pl send me info when you post a blog..
I would love to be in touch with you.
I liked the picture story
Beena sends her regards.
love
Sampath
Thank you Sampathji,
DeleteI will never forget my visit to your beautiful home. And after Sulekha we can connect here. To keep abreast my blogs, you can subscribe by leaving your email(there is a button for it on my page) and join the site as a follower of my blogs. I will do the same for yours.
Regards to both of you :)
Very very touching piece, ghaz...the story beautifully blends the chills of reality. All the best.
ReplyDeleteAnd...
There’s a surprise waiting for you. Please check the link.
http://panchalibolchi.blogspot.in/2012/07/a-gift.html
Dear Panchalidi,
DeleteI already checked it out. I am so happy that I got it from you..!
It means a lot. Thank you and always look forward to seeing you here~
Nice work ! All the best for the contest !
ReplyDeleteMysay,
DeleteThank you so much. Good to see you here.
I always enjoy interacting with co bloggers.
That is the only way for growth :)
PS: I tried leaving a comment on your space but just could not:(
Ah, the beauty and the sadness. Very good.
ReplyDeleteHello Sandeep,
DeleteThanks, glad it touched you :)
Hello Sridhar,
ReplyDeleteThank you for connecting on Writeup cafe as well :)
Nice post and good luck for the contest. :)
ReplyDeleteI've tagged you to a Liebster and an awesome blogger award :). Check this link : http://nehasjournal.blogspot.in/2012/07/two-in-one.html
Dear Neha,
DeleteThank you so much, just saw your page..! I am so happy and excited
for awesome bloggers award and Liebster award too :)
Nice writing. Congratulations.
ReplyDeleteDear Rachna,
DeleteHappy to see you here,
keep dropping in. Thanks :)
Lovely narration and excellent/unique style of story telling. Very apt choice of words in the tale. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteHello RJT,
DeleteThank you for enjoying my story :)
Tip Tip Tip at the end just poured my heart in drops of rain :)
ReplyDeletebeautifully scribbled...
Dear Jasmeet,
DeleteI could not place you, you look so different..!
Very chick I must say.
And thanks for that lovely feedback~
beautifully written.must say a poignant tale.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck for the contest
-Gunjan Sinha
Welcome gunjan,
DeleteThanks man :)
Every story I have read on this picture is wonderful. This one is no exception. All the best, Ghazala :)
ReplyDeleteDear Cyb,
DeleteThanks, nice of you to say that.
Keep coming this way~
Nice writing Ghazala!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my space Rahul and thanks for the encouragement :)
DeleteVery heartfelt and touching, Ghazala! Well done :) my best wishes for you with the contest :)
ReplyDeleteDear Arti,
DeleteThe picture just pulled my heart strings so wrote this down.
Glad you like it. thanks :)
Beautiful Ghazala!! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Lc,
DeleteGood to see you here :)
Like it... :-)
ReplyDeleteSS,
DeleteThanks for letting me know you liked it :)
There was a deep sense of pain in your writing which gripped my heart. Excellent narrative that moved my heart. An emotionally potent read. Beautifully written. :) And all the best for the competition.
ReplyDeleteRaj,
DeleteThank you so much..! Yes, I wrote this with lucid emotions.
There is something about this picture that made me realise
it is a happy picture but has a gloom around it :)
I won't say anything different that what everyone has written but still a very poignant and emotional post. :) Very well written.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world Goingbeyond,
DeleteThanks for leaving your foot prints.
Yes, this one resonates with poignancy :)
Will check your space asap ~
Evocative, poignant - loved it.
ReplyDeleteDear Purba,
DeleteThanks for reading this,
As soon as I saw this picture
on Writeup cafe, some thing stirred in me :)
Nicely penned, Ghazala. I've read many posts on this topic, and yours is very beautiful.
ReplyDeleteDear Rachna,
DeleteComing from you, I take it as a compliment.
Thanks, I appreciate the gesture :)
A marvellous classic having poignant nodes aromatised with emotions, full of deep pains which depict the harsh realities of life fully capable of sending shivers to even an iron and emotionless person. A great writing coupled with sensous feelings. A brilliant attempt paving the way for the making of a great writer. Words are a few ones to compliment you Ghazie. Hats off to you. Well done
ReplyDeleteHi Sid,
DeleteEvery writer dreams of a reader like you,
someone who understands sensibilities
along with sensitivities of the write up..!
Thanks always~
I would like to compliment this blog with the following lines:
ReplyDeleteसितम हवा का अगर तेरे तन को रास नहीं
कहां से लाऊं वो झोंका जो मेरे पास नहीं
उम्र जलवों में बसर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
हर शब-ए-गम की सहर हो ये जरूरी तो नहीं
आग है, पानी है, मिट्टी है, हवा है मुझ में
और फिर मानना पड़ता है कि खुदा है मुझ में
कल गए थे तुम जिसे बीमार-ए-हिजरां छोड़कर
चल बसा वो आज सब हस्ती का सामां छोड़कर
A true blog which I have come across after decades. Totally realistic
Wow Sid,
DeleteSuch deep meaningful lines,
you have a poet's heart and soul.
Thanks and keep visiting my page:)